Sweet 16th.
It’s been 2 years since I had mine, yet it feels so different when I’m celebrating someone elses, even if that someone else is my own girlfriend. We were waiting for the bus at 41st and Granville, and my sudden realization, which I voiced, was that the place was relatively clean back in the days, which was when I was in grade 7 or 8, five to six years ago. I feel old, a bit too mature even. I’m turning 18, and when I look around me, a normal 18 year old young man should be all about fast cars and freedom, dream of a glamourous life while just relaxing and enjoying the last few weeks of high school, regardless of where he will be heading next year. I, on the other hand, am in constant worry about the present and the future. I guess the uncertainties of no concrete idea of where I am going next year bothers me greatly. I feel so empty most of the time, don’t want to do anything besides lying on my bed and think, and I don’t know what I am thinking about. Everyone seems so content and knowing, and improving themselves, while I’m always on the same spot. It’s like running on a treadmill, you think you are moving forward, but afterall you are just…there. Nowhere. I guess right now I’m just really grateful that Tash is being so supportive and loving through all this. As for my parents, well, they are just my parents, nothing more, nothing less.
Had a lot of fun today, met some quite interesting characters during dinner, and reminisced about youth through actions. Arcade brings out the kid in everyone. I miss her already.
Got a job through a curious question, I guess I am pretty lucky sometimes, but lots of times the luck’s not there when I need it the most.
Should head to bed now, tired, and many things to do tomorrow.
His Excellency,
Jerry Theophany Lin
